i was happy to come back to melbourne. though, i now knew where i wanted to be and this city wasn’t it. i was happy to be back home. happy to see my housemates and my friends. back at a real gym (really? that’s number 3 on my list? that’s fucking sad). happy to see my bed (after being ass raped my lower back hurt so much i was in bed for 3 days.)
“you got shagger’s back,” patrick quipped
“shagger’s back. from too much shagging.”
“what!?! no! i don’t! i wasn’t…! i don’t know what you’re talking about!… hmm.. oh yeah, well maybe…”
and i was happy to see… to see…
nothing else really
oh yeah, my personal shopper. he was itching to go shopping again. i have seen him nearly every 2 weeks for the last 5 months. he has helped out a lot with all the things i probably do need but can’t be fucked buying because i don’t think i really need those shoes, or those jeans that make my ass look hot, or that new bag…
“so are you excited about the iphone 5?” he would ask almost every time we went shopping.
“meh… i guess.” his eyes would sparkle and i’d rethink my answer, “yeah would be great to get one.”
the excitement didn’t die down when the iphone 5 was downgraded to just the 4S
“so do you want one?”
“yeah sure,” i said never thinking he would really get me one until i got a text asking what colour i wanted. i said ‘white’ because it’s getting a bit annoying confusing a friends phone for my own. or even worse, as i did once, accidentally walking out from a job and turning up to the next job with the previous client’s iphone in my hand instead of my own.
“white?” Patrick sniggered inwardly in that subdued disapproving way. it’s a face that reveals nothing of his true opinion. but if you put a little pressure on him (i.e. remain silent and raise an suspicious eyebrow) he will crack. he did. he laughed. “white. hmm.. okay…”
“yeah. fuck what am i? a 16 year old asian girl?” i quickly texted my shopper back and asked for black.
i saw him 2 days later. he excitedly handed it over. i was excited to get it (partly because i had been such a fucking smug little cunt the last 24 hours declaring, “oh is a new iphone coming out? well guess who’s getting one tomorrow?” and i would point to me if they were too dumb to figure out that i meant me)
he had taken the day off work and cued at the apple store at 5am to get one. just one. for me. not for himself.
“now you wanna go shopping for iphone accessories?”
“fuck yeah i do!”
back home now. I is writing, mista. almost caught up to the present day on all the fucked up things. will soon be writing about work from when i began many many years ago